Trump in the Drive Thru Window

This is a short excerpt from The Filthy Easy Encyclopedia. A longer post will come on Sunday, I just felt wrong making the people wait for this one!

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Drive-Thru- If fast-food isn’t fast enough for you, there’s the drive-thru. The drive-thru is preferred to dining-in by many self-conscious, psoriatic gila monsters who want to eat their greasy chum within the confines of their junk-filled Kias.

Let’s cut to a live feed of Donald Trump working the drive-thru window at the local McDonald’s:

*Car pulls up to the window*

Trump: “Hi there, what can you do for me?”

Customer: “Isn’t it meant to be, ‘what can I do for you?’”

Trump: “That’s what I said”

Customer: “Oh, okay. Well I’ll have a large fry and a…”

Trump: “Large fry!? Maybe you should try a small there, fatty. But okay, good choice. We have great fries. Many say they are the best fries.”

Customer: “I was also going to ask if your ice cream machine is working”

Trump: “Our ice cream machine has never been broken. Not once. They try to say that it’s been broken but the truth is that it never has.”

Customer: “Well I ask because I came here last week and it was broken”

Trump: “Of course you were here last week, fatty. Maybe you are broken, a broken fatty. A fat dog.”

Customer: “Listen, man, can I just order my food?”

Trump: “Finally. I’ve been waiting. We’ve all been waiting. Ronda! (*he yells to his manager*) Have you been waiting? Yes. See, we’ve all been waiting. A long, long time. The longest of times, some might say.”

Customer: “Sorry, man, but I feel like you’ve been interrupting me. Can I also get some sweet & sour sauce with that?”

Trump: *Trump turns around and yells at nobody in particular* “One sweet & sour sauce for the fat loser in the drive-thru!”