Thousands of Cybertrucks Recalled for Erratic, Potentially Anti-Semitic Factory Flaws
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Cybertrucks- How I would design a “cool” looking truck back in 2nd grade when I played with Rescue Heroes and wanted to grow up to be Rey Mysterio. Breaking news out of Tesla: Thousands of Cybertrucks set to be recalled after a factory flaw was discovered in the autopilot system! Customers have been reporting that when they engage the autopilot feature, the Cybertrucks have been rerouting them to the closest Jewish private residence. Unable to redirect the trucks back to their intended route, confused drivers have been arriving outside Jewish homes all over the country. To make matters worse, before they are able to peel away from the houses, the Cybertrucks have been overriding the custom horn feature to play a prerecorded message of Elon Musk’s voice saying, “Come outside Jews, we know you are hiding in there!”. Many Tesla owners have found themselves spending their last few weeks apologizing to Jewish families, claiming they do not espouse the views of their vehicles, and explaining that the trucks are just being their quirky, socially inept selves, and do not actually harbor any hatred towards Jews or any other religious or ethnic group, for that matter.
Another subset of Cybertruck owners reports a similar, albeit equally troubling, pattern of behavior exhibited by their trucks: These drivers claim that when driving through the business districts of their cities at night, their Cybertrucks have been ejecting some of their extraneous bolts and other metal fragments through the windows of locally owned Jewish businesses. “I don’t know why they need to aim for Jewish businesses in particular, but I think we need to be focusing on the real issue here, which is that the trucks are acting erratically, with no rhyme or reason, with no clear agenda!”. One Cybertruck driver claimed that his truck shot a screw through the plate glass windows of a Roman delicatessen, but debris from the blast just happened to end up careening through the storefront of pickle patent lawyers Abramson & Davidovich as well.