The Filthy Easy Encyclopedia

Today marks a turning point in Filthy Easy history. I now bring to you, The Filthy Easy Encyclopedia. Here is a sample of what you can expect from the encyclopedia. Please let me know if you like this new style of post! Every Sunday from this point forward I will bring you some new terms from the encyclopedia. Don’t worry, the Filthy Easy Vocab posts will continue during the week. Thanks as always for your support!

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A

Albatross- A lanky ass bird. The Kevin Durant of the animal kingdom. Also refers to a score of three under par on a hole of golf— either a hole-in-one on a par 4 or a double eagle on a par 5. Aka your boys owe you a round back in the clubhouse. Aka the cart girl definitely still doesn’t want your number, but she’s going to get a sticky note with the digits regardless.

B

Barcelona- Home to “La Masia”, the footballing academy famous for paying for Messi’s HGH treatment and an expensive cover-up of an incident involving his teenage use of blackface in Halloween ’02 (it was a Pelé costume, may we no longer honor our heroes!?).

C

Croutons- Rock solid pieces of stale bread that enhance salads or serve as ‘struggle snacks’ for college-aged midnight bingers. Also, a derogatory term for a Frenchman. “You can’t smoke cigarettes in here crouton, this is a children’s science museum”

D

Dab Rigs- If a bong is coffee, a dab rig is Monster Energy Drink. Using a dab rig makes you look more like a crackhead than the actual act of smoking crack. This is because in order to use a dab rig you need an industrial butane torch, the same torch that you would use to, you know, solder metal in a workshop. There are stoners who collect dab rigs simply because they like the “heady art”. These people would run back into the flames of their burning down homes to retrieve their drug rugs.

E

Egg Salad Sandwiches- The perfect food to eat on a flight, during a public bus ride, or in a cramped office break room. It is almost an act of alchemy that a food so simple in its construction (bread, egg, mayo) is able to produce a scent so flagrant to the nostrils. A warm egg salad sandwich may be used in place of tear gas in order to disband unruly groups of civilians in the town square. “Quick, hand me the bucket of three-day-old egg salad sandwiches, the Mothers Against Drunk Driving are gathering outside of Buffalo Wild Wings again!”