Sunday Story- Idiosyncrasy
Idiosyncrasy- an unusual feature or behavior of a person
Ex: He tried to play off his OCD as a series of idiosyncrasies, but she was having a harder time believing him with every passing day. *lights flicker on and off 4 times, he darts down to the floor to check under the bed for monsters before climbing onto the mattress* “Honey, you have no idea how much I’ve been looking forward to jumping into this bed and snuggling up with you. It’s been a looonnnngggg day.” *He flips pillow over 4 times before settling into a comfortable position* *She gives him an accusatory look* “Babe, what was that. You flipped the pillow four times, meaning it’s now back on its original side, the same side as before any of those flips. Normally people flip over their pillows to get to the cooler other side. (note: this is also the answer to, “Why did the chicken flip the pillow?”) But you…you just flipped it over and back, over and back, so you essentially did nothing. You know what, it’s all making sense now. You’re not weird. Well, you’re not just weird. You have an underlying condition causing these eccentricities. I can’t believe I only realized it now. How could I have been so blind?
In Sherwin Williams the other day when you accidentally clipped that old lady’s ankles with your cart, said, ‘I’m sorry ma’am, but I have to do this’ and then proceeded to ram into her shins three more times while tears streamed down your face, that wasn’t because you were possessed, as you tried to tell me! That was because you have a disorder! And then when we took out the Ouija board to try to contact your ‘demon’ it just so happened that the ‘malevolent force’ moved the cup on the board to the left in four short spurts. You do realize how batshit crazy that is to try to gaslight me into thinking you needed an exorcism because you were too scared to admit you had OCD!? I’m sorry, but I don’t think I can trust you ever again.” *She gets out of bed to leave* “I’m out of here. Call me when you can finally own up to something for once.” *She exits and slams the door behind her. She opens the door back up and slams it again. She opens it up one final time and then slams it shut with authority* “Babe, babe. What are you doing? Babe. Did you leave? Do it once more. Babe, please! Don’t you dare stop on 3. DON’T YOU DARE!”
*He curls up into a ball on the bed, sobbing violently and twitching in agony. His mouth opens wide. Wider and wider it goes. His jaw unhinges. The ghost of outspoken OCD advocate and America’s Got Talent host Howie Mandel slowly climbs out from his mouth and into the bedroom* “It’s gonna be a no from me as well, sorry man” *The translucent entity that is Howie flows through the bedroom door, vanishing out of sight*