Spaghettification

Spaghettification- the stretching of an object by extreme gravitational forces near a black hole

Ex: You ever wonder what the hospitals are like in a third world country? Let me fill you in on what I’ve seen throughout my (extensive) travels (way more travels than you, you peasant bum). I walked by a room where a stiff elderly man-raisin was hooked up to some tubes, presumably on life support (“support” being a fairly generous term here), and the machine he was connected to was on that low battery mode like an IPhone when it dips below 20% charge. I literally saw a blinking orange battery symbol in the top right corner of the screen. Either someone was finding a charger in the next half hour, or that guy was donezo. I strolled on a little further down the gray tiled hallway, dim fluorescent lights flickering above, following the same feeble pattern as the elderly man’s heartbeat. To my left I glanced through an open doorway into a checkup room where a flabby, unshaven tub of a man was being bent over and given a colonoscopy. I guess privacy wasn’t at the forefront of the doctor’s mind, as he was more intent on seeing to the spaghettification of the man’s asshole, which was now as wide as the mouth of a pizza oven. Rubbing my eyes and wishing the anal event horizon would be wiped from my clean conscience before it soiled every pristine piece of cortex I had left, I rushed down the hallway to the double doors leading into the waiting room. As I thrust the doors open I reflexively screamed as I was met face to face with a woman who looked like Roz, the decrepit slug secretary from Monsters, Inc. She hissed back at me and I turned and sprinted towards the rotating door, but before I could leave I spotted a circus dwarf with a bloody tourniquet on his arm whistling and casually doing a Soduko puzzle on the back of a leaflet warning him of impending drone strikes in his section of the city.