Pabulum, Pother, Valetudinarian

Pabulum- a piece of entertainment or content that is bland and unstimulating

Ex: I cannot so much as entertain the thought of digesting the pabulum that is Keeping Up With the Kardashians. I’d point an industrial fan at a razor scooter to speed its rotation up until it looked like a biplane propeller and then jump shins-first into its deadly radius if it meant I would never have to listen to Kim Kardashian’s insipid nasal musings on the struggles of attending dumbed-down fake celebrity law school ever again.

Pother- a fuss; a state of irritation or concern; a commotion

Ex: Jared made a pother about all the mosquitoes that kept buzzing about next to the campfire. “Jesus Christ! I told you we should have invested in some of those net walled malaria huts. I feel like I’m getting West Nile just sitting here, and I’m not just talking about Ahmed.” *Cut to Ahmed, an Egyptian from Giza, seated next to him by the campfire, throwing his arms up in the air out of bewilderment* “Seriously bro? That’s uncalled for. I flee my country from our sadistic piece of shit fascist dictator. I find a job in the states. I finally make some American friends. Hell, I even buy the fucking wienies for the cookout, and this is the thanks I get!?” *Ahmed unclips his camel from a white birch tree at the edge of the campground, hops on its back, and rides off into the Maine wilderness*

Valetudinarian- a person who is anxiously preoccupied with his or her health; a hypochondriac

Ex: The valedictorian gave his speech while the valetudinarian scoured WebMD to determine if the paper cut he got from being handed his diploma was potentially gangrenous.