Oblique

Oblique- slanted; neither parallel or at a right angle; not straight or straightforward

Ex: We set off from the dock on an oblique path toward the lighthouse. The salty sea air smelled of semen and seagull vomit. The sun burned flaming orange discs into our corneas and lit the ends of our forearm hairs on fire. The wind cockslapped us and defiled us, whispering dirty secrets into our ears that turned our faces ruddy with embarrassment. The water appeared the same color as a Heineken bottle and was teeming with unhealthy looking fish, menhaden to be exact; the inbred, syphilitic cousins of sardines. Our crew were a bunch of flappy, sun-bronzed divorcee’s in pastel color swimsuits and Costa sunglasses. We reeked of marital discontent, stale cigar smoke, and corporate finance. The fish would probably be pretty bummed to find out that they were being caught by some washed up former frat bros trying to convince themselves that their second act in life could be just as “lit” as the first. If the fish were instead yanked from the water by Jason Momoa, they’d probably be like, “Alright, yea, this makes sense. You’re an apex predator, clearly. I open my poop chute in submission to your highness, sir Aquaman.” But fish don’t judge. And fish don’t speak. If fish could speak, they’d probably ask our crew, “Shouldn’t you guys be at a recital or youth sports game right now? Do you guys seriously think it’s okay to wear chubbies past the age of 30? Is that a melanoma next to your nipple, Craig?”