Machinations

Machinations- a scheming action intended to accomplish something seedy or evil

Ex: The Summer is winding down and as of yet none of Dr. Doofenshmirtz’s machinations have amounted to any sort of financial/structural/societal collapse of the tristate area. Why are we even still scared of this so-called mad scientist? For the last however many days each one of his however many schemes have been foiled by an aquatic, egg-laying mammal detective. Seriously, Heinz- if that is your real name- how can you live with yourself as a villain? How is ketchup meant to strike fear into the general public? Doofenshmirtz has a German ring to it, so we’ll let that slide. Word on the street is that there’s going to be a meeting of all the great TV and movie villains-- The Joker, The Riddler, The Diddler, Simon Cowell—to discuss whether your V-card needs to be revoked! Your villain card, that is. Not the other V-card. But on that topic, your smoking hot daughter is getting hers taken by an inexplicably British green-haired twin with the nose of a Proboscis Monkey. She clearly has daddy issues, so you’ve failed miserably on that front as well. Get it together, Dr. D! And while you’re at it, fix that hair. It looks like a shit brown swastika being worn as a yarmulke, which is a bizarre statement whose irony is lost on me and all the other borderline-cognitively-impaired adult viewers of Phineas and Ferb.