Hector, Adjure

Hector- to bully; to harass

Ex: He was hectored by the health nut behind him in the checkout line. “Bro, seriously. Your cart is like, totally full of trans fat. Do you even care about your gut microbiome? If your body is your temple, then your body must be Göbekli Tepe because it’s in ruins and filled with animals like ducks and wild boars.” *the health nut reaches into the shopper’s cart and starts rifling through his items* “Seriously, man! What is this? A wild boar snout? And this? Are these deep-fried duck legs?” *the health nut looks back up at the shopper, who is now standing in a T pose. His hands and feet begin to turn to stone. His wrists and shins follow suit. His whole body is soon overtaken by this gray cobblestone. It is as if he had just looked into Medusa’s eyes, if Medusa wore a CamelBak and ate GU energy and talked your ear off about last weekend’s Tough Mudder. He now stands next to the belt in the form of a stone pillar. * “Holy shit. You are Göbekli Tepe.”

Adjure- to implore someone; to plead earnestly with someone to do something

Ex: The desperate boyfriend adjured his girlfriend to stay with him. “Babe, hear me out, it was one time. Once. It’ll never happen again. I know I fucked up. Badly. You have the right to be mad at me, but please, please don’t walk out that door. We can work through this babe. I’m begging you, give me one more chance.” *The girlfriend, clearly unmoved by this speech, continues to grab her things and heads for the door. She turns to face him one final time before departing* “Joey, we’re done. You spit out my mom’s pie in front of her and told her that it ‘tasted like wet mulch and deer piss’. Then, when you got fired from work the next day, you left an angry voicemail on her phone telling her that it was her stupid pie’s fault. That somehow the pie had worked its way up into your brain like some parasitic worm and had caused you to act irrationally. But we all know the truth, Joey, need I remind you. You got fired because you sack-tapped Lionel as you yelled out ‘happy pride month, queer!’ when he was giving his quarterly report. Your issues go way deeper than the pie, which, by the way, was strawberry rhubarb, and it was fucking delicious. Have a nice life, asshole.”