Harangue, Maudlin, Anodyne

Harangue- to lecture at length, typically a verbal attack

Ex: The cashier at the grocery store found himself being harangued by an obnoxious extreme-couponer customer who insisted that the cashier had messed something up, and that his total should have come out to under one dollar. The cashier remained remarkably calm in the face of this verbal assault and fired back with a devastating one line blow, “It’s hard work being this cheap, isn’t it?”. The customer demanded to see the manager, who only laughed in his face and called him a broke boy. Dejected, the customer wheeled his cart back into the toiletries aisle and began the painstaking process of placing each one of his 72 tiny travel toothbrushes back onto the shelf.

Maudlin- feeling sorry for yourself and overcome with emotion, often as a result of drinking

Ex: People go crazy when Billy Joel’s Piano Man, the international maudlin anthem, comes on at either a bar or a sporting event. It’s not uncommon for people to become maudlin, while listening to this song about stories of maudlin behavior, while reminiscing about the short-lived NFL career of Lorenzo Mauldin, former defensive end for the New York Jets, and maybe even the roles of the lovable big-schnozzed actor Karl Malden.

Anodyne- serving to alleviate pain

Ex: The doctor prescribed an anodyne antidote of jungle toad venom to relieve the patient’s pain resulting from his giant foot warts. Which doctor prescribed this, did you ask? Ohhh, you said witch doctor. Yes, yes, we are very much discussing a witch doctor. In western medicine this would be considered malpractice at minimum, if not a full-fledged felony.