Goodnight Moon- The College Years

From now on, every Sunday you will receive the Clemenstein spin on a children’s book. This is building towards my eventual next project that I plan on releasing: Filthy Bedtime Stories

During the week, you can still expect to receive daily vocabulary words.

And if you haven’t heard, I released the second edition of Filthy Easy Guide to Vocab a few weeks ago. Check it out!

---

Goodnight Moon- The College Years

Goodnight half eaten DiGiorno’s on the side of my bed

Goodnight Mountain Dew with scratch off codes for Halo: Reach double xp weekend

Goodnight loose tobacco strands on the ash smeared coffee table

Goodnight dog that we’re wholly unprepared to take care of and is borderline neglected, but who we keep around to take on campus walks to get girls to notice us

Goodnight pile of dishes in the sink that we swear we’ll get to cleaning one of these days

Goodnight four TV’s and XBOX’s in the living room so we can play Fortnite squads

Goodnight “Butt-Weiser” poster and “Don’t Tread on Me” flag

Goodnight Keystone Light throne with Samurai suit fashioned from the cardboard ripped from Keystone 30 racks

Goodnight half-drank Dunkin cold brews sitting on top of a wild spread of loose-leaf textbook pages because you spent the money that you had set aside for the hardcover copy on Zyns and Whey protein powder

Goodnight roommate’s covert magic mushroom growing operation in the basement

Goodnight silverware stolen in bulk from the dining hall

Goodnight Kevin, whose ragdoll body we propped up in the chair after he indulged a little bit too much in the sauce that night

Goodnight retro Allen Iverson jersey that I had laid out on the coach to wear to tomorrow’s darty

Goodnight Dubra vodka and country time lemonade powder

Goodnight email from your professor that the assignment is due by midnight on Sunday, not by class on Monday, which throws you into a panic

Goodnight angry text from your parents, who just received the academic misconduct notice from the school administrators

Good morning…Kevin? Kevin did you piss on the coffee table after I went to sleep last night? Dude, it’s sticky and smells like urine! You totally pissed on my coffee table. Not cool man.