Glib

Glib- (of speech) fluent and smooth but insincere and shallow

Ex: The glib phone salesman rattled off the details of the new family unlimited talk and text line to the attentive customer. He tactfully dodged the customer’s probing questions about any hidden fees, reassuring him that the quoted price would be the real price that he would pay each month. The sale was his paint brush, and the technologically unversed middle age man was his canvas. The customer was convinced, and went through with the purchase. The salesman escorted him out the door and left him with one more schmaltzy pre-rehearsed parting message, “Let me know if you have any questions. Here at AT&T we’re one big happy family built on communication, literally!”. He flashed the customer an extra cheesy grin and then stepped back inside.

As soon as the door clicked shut, the salesman turned to his coworkers and yelled, “WE GOT ANOTHER ONE BOYS!” and they all doubled over in rapturous laughter. The cashier went into the back room and pulled out a Wheel of Fortune type spinning device labelled, “Hidden Fees Roulette”. The employees all gathered round as the salesman yanked on the lever and watched the ticker spin and spin until it settled on a sliver of the wheel that read, “Just absolutely fuck him up. No holds barred. Make him pay double, nay, triple what he expected!”

“JACKPOT!” Shouted the salesman as he emphatically fist pumped and the other employees whooped and hollered. LED lights flashed on and off as rainbow confetti descended from the ceiling like a blizzard.