Factitious- fake; artificial
Ex: “Sir, I’m sorry, I can’t let you in with this. This is fake.”
*Hands him back the ID*
“What do you mean it’s fake? On what basis are you claiming that this is any way factitious?”
“On the basis that that’s a picture of a black and yellow Chevrolet Camaro, and you’re very clearly some sort of titanic mechanical man”
*the 16-foot tall talking machine transforms into a Chevy in front of the bouncer*
“What about now?” Asks the car, winking one of his headlights.
“Forgive me, sir. We’ll get your bottle service set up right away. Can you just reach out your right uhhh…wheel so we can stamp it?”
“You don’t think you’ll be able to tell if it’s me if I leave and come back into the club?”
“Depends what form you are in, sir.”
“You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Standard procedure, sir.”