Epicure, Intransigent

Epicure- a person who loves food and drink

Ex: It’s easy to be an epicure with a fast metabolism. There’s actually no such thing as a fat epicure, they would be referred to as a beached whale instead. Or as a hand-to-mouth disease patient. Or as a jolly Jabba. Or the Notorious F.A.T., Biggie Bigs.  Or as Stuart Not So Little. Or as Fat Sajack, the host of Wheel of Portions, where the contestants hope to win big. Or as Flabby Petite? No! Who was last seen travelling across the country with her boyfriend in an Entenmanns van.

Intransigent- uncompromising; unwilling to change one’s stance

Ex: The pretentious host was intransigent in his decision about the contents of the table centerpieces. “What do you mean it’s frowned upon to pluck scarlet ibis feathers? You think I care that it may hurt them?! Oh buddy, you must not know who you’re working with here. Yes, I know that they are native to the Caribbean and South America. So why the fuck are you standing here telling me things I already know? Hop on a plane and fetch me some of those red skinny-legged water-waders NOW! If you leave this instant you’ll make it back in time for the party. So shut up and get over there! When I hosted that Dia de Los Muertos party for my daughter and her friends last year and they told me that they wanted hyper-realistic sugar skulls as decorations, do you think I told her no, I couldn’t do that? NO! In fact, I said to hell with “hyper-realistic”, why not just go straight for the real thing? So I looked up the obituaries of a few Mexicans who had passed away recently in our area, I found out where they were buried, and I had my grave guy dig them up for me. These were good, good people, with clean records that lived honest, hardworking lives. I didn’t want any bad spirits floating around my daughter’s party, if you know what I mean.”