Dictum, Dissemble

Dictum- an authoritative declaration or a noteworthy statement

Ex: If you want to anger a blue-collar, conservative homeowner, just hit him with the dictum, “the grass is always greener on the other side” and watch how he reacts.

“What other side? You better not be talking about the other side of town! Those people have no idea how to maintain a front lawn! You won’t find an ounce of Scott’s turf builder over there!”

“I just meant, like, you never know how good you really have it. You may think other people’s live are better than yours, but you’d be surprised.”

“Well then why didn’t you just come out and say that! There was no need to bring my lawn care into this!”

I always wondered how these people had 30 spare hours a week to sit on their lawnmowers and meticulously cut perfectly straight lines across their yards. Was the 40 hours of mowing other people’s lawns during the week not enough to scratch their itch?

Dissemble- to put on a false appearance; to conceal facts or intentions

Ex: Raylene dissembled the details of their long weekend vacation to the Jersey Shore. The kids thought they were going to the boardwalk to ride the rollercoasters and play on the beach. Little did they know, mom was checking them into Bally’s Casino Hotel in Atlantic City. They were about to be leashed up and attached to the slot machine like little toy poodles as mommy repeatedly yanked and yanked and yanked on the “bet now!” lever with a blank expression on her face. If the children somehow managed not to pass out from boredom, the stale second-hand cigarette smoke would surely finish off the job.