Carping, Protean, August

Carping- very critical; hard to please; prone to whining

Ex: Even at his medical school graduation ceremony, Yehuda wasn’t safe from his carping Jewish mother and her ridiculous, petty complaints about how he, “didn’t pose with the diploma long enough” and how he, “had a lot of mishegaas throwing up that peace sign on stage” as well as how he, “should’ve taken an extra Claritin before the event, you knew there were birch trees out there, yet you did nothing, like a real shmendrik!”

Protean- changeable; able to assume different forms

Ex: The assassin prided himself on his protean nature that allowed him to blend into many different environments. During a hit back in 08’ at the Atlantic City Rainforest Café, he was able to transform himself into a jungle tree by gluing foliage to his arms and legs and standing in a stiff upright position for two hours in order to stake out a “Tapout”-apparel-clad white trash uncle for whom, depressingly, this was his idea of Michelin-level dining. When the deed was done, the uncle lay bleeding out underneath the foreboding gray skies of the restaurant. He would remain there for months while other jungle patrons scavenged and picked at his decaying corpse until no flesh remained, for that was the cycle of life in the jungle.

August- majestically grand; regal

Ex: The august estate was complete with medieval towers that thrust up towards the heavens. Passers-by were quick to compliment the owner’s meticulous attention to detail and his desire to remain in complete accordance with medieval architecture stylings. They did, however, think the damsels-in-distress locked away in said towers was a little much, and probably constituted adequate evidence to have the owner put away for at least a few years for kidnapping charges.