Cajole, Prolixity

Cajole- to persuade using flattery

Ex: Jonah cajoled his wife into doing his laundry using the outdated, problematic, yet effective line, “Come on, toots, I like the way the shadow of your curvy figure dances in the sun when you do household chores”

Prolixity- drawn out; using too many words

Ex: He was always excusing himself to use the restroom in the middle of work meetings with great prolixity. Yesterday, he announced, “Henceforth, the deed shall be done. No more shall that fibrous salad exist in my stomach, churning about in that acidic wasteland. For it is time. It is time to flush out all this, this, this refuse that has bestowed upon me great nutritional value, but for which I no longer have any use. I’m taking a dump, guys. To restate, I am just going number two.” *Cut to senior VP Christine up at the board, shaking her head in absolute disbelief as to what just happened* “Excuse me, but does that guy work here?” The rest of the employees looked at one another and shrugged. They had found it odd that he had been wearing a Burger King crown and a Three Doors Down cut-off tee, but nobody had thought to check. *Cut to later that night, in an alleyway next to the office building* *Christine hands a wad of cash to a man in a Burger King crown* “Next time, really don’t hold back on the description. You know I love it when you talk about that filth in my place of work. Now get in the dumpster, little piggy, let mama feed you some slop” *Christine and the man tip over into the dumpster together, vehemently rolling about one another like stray cats in a dustup*