Blandishments, Providential

Blandishments- pleasant words used to encourage someone to do something

Ex: The local animal shelter’s new ad campaign is quite the departure from the blandishments of previous commercials. This time, they’re favoring more of a heavy metal approach in order to recruit new adopters. With the tagline, “adopt a dog or go straight to HELL” and disquieting imagery of Satan branding the words “animal hater” on a man’s chest using a white-hot cattle prod as he screams in agony, I guess they’re trying to exploit some feelings of religious guilt in their customers. It is yet to be seen whether or not this marketing technique will be effective, especially considering that most of their repeat clients are lesbian atheist cat ladies. 

Providential- fortunate; happening as a result of good luck

Ex: It turned out to be quite providential that Ephraim developed lactose intolerance shortly before his dinner with his yogi and holistic wellness guide Trivisana. “Okay, who here wants dessert? I made my famous vegan flax loaf with fair trade cane sugar and some leftover breast milk I had in the freezer from when my little superstar was a newborn!” *points to daughter who is avoiding eye contact, staring down at her plate, and blushing, and is clearly at least 12 years old* “Don’t worry Ephraim, I know it makes your tummy sore, and, by the way, with a name like Ephraim, I would have just assumed you were intolerant anyways!”