Athleisure

Athleisure- A fashion trend characterized by athletic clothing that is both comfortable and aesthetically appealing 

Ex: Welcome to the athleisure era. Gone are the days of dressing up for work. Burn your slacks, rip up your button downs, donate your pantsuits to goodwill (Lesbians/Attorneys)— you won’t be needing those again anytime soon! Hear ye, hear ye, fat, lazy slobs of corporate America, stop stressing out over your appearance in the mornings. Don’t shower, don’t wash your face, and definitely don’t moisturize, because you’re working virtually, which means your camera quality is nowhere near sufficient to pick up those pesky age spots and eczema patches that you toil tirelessly—in futility— to get rid of. Toss on a baggy quarter-zip and some AND1 shorts like Sandler at one of his pickup games. Fuck it, go full Pakistani dad at an outlet mall and toss on a FILA jumpsuit! Why not be comfortable? All you’re doing is sitting at your desk, checking emails for 15 minutes, then getting up to either: A) Play FIFA, B) Take a black, tarry coffee dump, or C) Pop on over to the gas station to purchase zyns. Your boss meets with you via zoom once a month for a progress report, and even then, you just need your top half to be somewhat presentable. Your bottom half may remain in the chainmail print compression shorts you won in a joust at the renaissance fair. So, go nuts with the athleisure, the working world is your unpresentable, sloppily shucked oyster. Think only black guys can pull off the all-green Jordan outfit? You’re probably right, but why not give it a shot in this new climate of acceptance and minimal effort! I don’t know about you all, but I’m thinking of showing up to my next zoom meeting in one of those full-body neon spandex suits! That counts as athleisure, right? It’s stretchy, sporty, and aesthetically appealing, from a minimalist point of view. Christ almighty, we have lost our way. Better yet, I’m going to chuck my laptop out the window, break my lease, and squat in the nearest Lululemon store, since clearly NOTHING MATTERS ANYMORE!