Arrogate

“Canadian border guard stopping a car”- Post-Impressionist style

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Arrogate- to seize without justification

Ex: A routine border check on my way to the Montreal comedy festival became not so routine when the overfriendly officer in a red suit and campaign hat rifled through my belongings and arrogated a joke book of mine.

“A comedian are you, eh? Let’s read some of these jokes”

“Please, officer. Those are all works in progress. I would prefer if you didn’t.”

*opens up the moleskin notebook, flips to a random page, and begins to read*

“I don’t get the formality of the word concubine. A concubine sounds like a machine that harvests seeds and threshes cereal grains. What it most definitely does not sound like is a biblical skank in a tent by an oasis who lures in wandering Middle Eastern men and drains their gray, hairy balls that look like Turkish delights covered in powdered sugar.”

*he stares blankly back at me, closes the notebook, and waves me through the border crossing*