Apprise- to notify; to inform
Ex: JUST IN: Jeff Bezos apprised by personnel development executive that low-level Amazon peasants from the warehouse in Camden, New Jersey have barricaded themselves inside of the distribution center until their demands have been met. Armed with high-pressure super soakers that were meant to be delivered to customers during Amazon’s hot summer of sales promotion, the disgruntled clapboard militia say they are refusing to leave the warehouse to complete their scheduled deliveries until their two requests have been answered. The spokesman for the group, and the spearhead of this amazon-basics-swimwear-clad militant organization, Daryl DeJesus, says that him and his rag tag brigade will not exit the warehouse until the radios on the delivery trucks are jailbroken and allowed to play anything other than a pre-recorded voice message of Bezos preaching about The American Dream, the promise of wealth only acquired through hard labor and a can-do attitude, and a meandering rant about why Cuban nightclub shirts and skinny white jeans should be in every man’s wardrobe. DeJesus says the group’s second ask is for every employee to be given a free subscription to Hulu in addition to Prime Video, citing not being able to watch The Bear as the primary reasoning behind this demand. “I just can’t stand being trapped in conversations with my friends where somebody brings up what Richie did in the latest episode of The Bear, and I’m just standing there silent, since I only have access to The Man in the High Castle, a dystopian reimagining of Post-WWII American in which the Nazis have control of the country, which kind of feels like my day to day life under Bezos’ rule, ironically.” According to our sources, Bezos is willing to listen to these demands, but only for the 15 free minutes in his schedule before his rocket flight to Mars to meet with his alien overlords.