Aboveboard

Aboveboard- honest

Ex: I thought a trip to Pirate’s Cove Adventure Golf in Cape Cod would be a great opportunity for us to unwind and enjoy some mindless miniaturized golf on one of the most scenic courses in the country. Boy, was I wrong. How am I meant to relax and enjoy this vacation when you can’t even be aboveboard with the stroke count on your scorecard? What is this? A 3 on hole 7? If I remember correctly, you went for the high risk high reward play of trying to slip the ball into the mouth of the cannon, and you ended up clanking your first 4 attempts. And this? A 4 on the infamously challenging hole 11? The animatronic Blackbeard’s “ARGGHHH!!” rattled you so badly in your backswing that you juiced the shot and it clanked off of the metal parrot and landed in my “Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum” signature cocktail! Nancy, no, you cannot be serious with this, a 2 to close out on the 18^th!? You struggled so badly on that hole that the group behind us started to play through us. You got in the way of a potential hole in one for the tubby guy in the tricorn hat with the eyepatch and the cutlass and he forced you to walk the plank over the little stream! He said, and I quote, “I’ll send ye to Davey Jones’ locker unless ye can procure fer me some hardtack and salt beef and plunder fer me some silk petticoat breeches from the loot shop!” And then you proceeded to feed this fat LARPing asshole and buy him his fruity flowing pantaloons! With the money I had set aside for our “Ahoy Matey!” Chips ahoy ice cream sundaes! This vacation is more ruined than the Whydah Galley shipwreck on the ocean floor off of Wellfleet! Shiver me timbers, I fear we have been stricken with the curse of Black Sam!